God Puts the Smack Down on Global Warming

As I write this from my Central Florida office, I can’t help but wonder why temperatures are 20 degrees below the average, and are my lime trees going to survive the next few nights for my margarita and Land Shark beer pleasure.

Isn’t it ironic that during the big global climate fiasco last month in Europe, that those all knowing, gonna save the world, gonna tax the people ‘til they bleed to pay for it, Global Warming neophytes/posers froze their tushies off, with record cold temperatures.

The Global Warming crowd says that the U.S. is experiencing a typical cycle due to El Nino. Okay, what about Asia, Europe and everywhere else? Why are they experiencing below normal temperatures? Well according to the “experts”, this is due to… … you guessed it, GLOBAL WARMING.

When asked, ‘how is record cold a result of global warming’? Their response is sometimes, ‘the planet is trying to regulate itself’. Wow, imagine that! Is this something we fully understand?

Now I’m not a scientist, and I don’t claim to be. I tend to look at things from a common sense approach. I remember hearing that icebergs are mostly underwater, about 10 to 20% is above the surface. This means that all of this Arctic and Antarctic sea ice is already displacing a lot of water. Sea ice contains a lot of air, 10 to 20%, trapped inside and is not as dense as say, an ice cube. So if the bulk of the Arctic and Antarctic sea ice is already displacing most of its mass in water and also has trapped air, how much is the sea level really going to rise if it does melt? I think the problem to rising sea levels is Super Tankers and cruise ships, and probably shipping in general. For that matter, people displace water and so do whales. So we should ban all shipping, prohibit people from swimming at the worlds beaches and get rid of all the whales. That would drop the sea levels by at least 5 or 6 feet.

Eroding beaches is another sign of Global Warming. Erosion has taken place on this planet since the introduction of wind and water. Which brings me to beach reclamation. A hurricane comes through, tears up the beaches and we reclaim them. How? We go off shore a few hundred yards and dig a massive trench and pump all of this sand back to shore to build a bigger and better beach. The ocean is going to want to fill that trench, and we just increased the angle of decline dramatically from the beach to the trench. Where do you think our reclaimed beach is going to go? Back to the trench. Then the Global Warming crew says, ‘Oh my gosh, the beach is disappearing, the water must be rising’. “GLOBAL WARMING, GLOBAL WARMING!”
Didn't we learn in school, that eons ago, large portions of the U.S. was under water? Was this attributible to the methane gas from dinosaur farts? Was there an ancestor of man, whose vast industrial campfires caused this calamity to flood most of what is present day North America?

Something I never understood, if we pump a lot of pollutants into the air it causes global warming. When volcanoes pump pollutants into the air, it causes cooling. If a super volcano were to pump pollutants into the air, it would cause the equivalent of a nuclear winter. Where’s the correlation?

I’m not a super religious guy, but I think its possible God is putting the Smack Down on us for buying into something that we claim to understand and don’t.